C Day Plus 1

Well this is the start of .. well I am not really sure, but the events of yesterday have driven a need to record my feelings in a way which I never had previously considered. Blogging is something I have not really understood despite having being a part of the IT Industry for nealy 20 years and usually quick to adopt new technologies.

What changed ?

Well my 6 year old son, John, was diagnosed with Cancer.

It is funny how just one word, six letters, can have such a profound effect. Throwing you into emotional turmoil with such clashing emotions. It is as if you have just turned a corner and you come face to face with the Grim Reaper grinning at you with a knowing look.

The journey to this day started a few months ago when my Son started waking at night in pain. Things were difficult but it always seemed that the cause looked like an ear infection or his molars coming down. We bounced back and forth between the GP and Dentist until we were referred by the Dentist to the Childrens Hospital when the lump started showing in front of his right ear.

Things moved quickly, XRays, MRI, CT followed by a Biopsy all happening in the space of a couple of weeks. At each stange things looked worse and worse, the Staff were very supportive but it was always 'we will know after the next step' (as I guess is all they can do), but each step took us down a darker and darker allyway. That is until yesterday.

We thought that we had prepared ourselves for whatever news was to be presented. Had considered the possibilities, some bad some more positive, as things progressed from an inflamation to a mass to a lesion. Tumour was the next word expected but what type ?

To be sat down and told it was cancer, hit me in a way I had never expected. I thought I was prepared, what a fool I was ! Rhabdomyosarcoma seems much less frightening than the simple 6 letters of cancer, but this was it, this was the beast into whose jaws were are looking.

What do I expect to get from this Blog ... I don't really know. Maybe simply the effort of recording my feelings might help in some little way. Who knows, only time will give us the answer to the question ... will we beat the beast ?